CD and a Peanut allergy to boot!

Usually my focus is on Celiac Disease, but this last trip has been a reminder of how peanut allergies are still an issue for our kids. In this day and age, when many kids have peanut allergies and schools have peanut free zones, you would think that parents would be more sympathetic to the cause. Am I asking too much? Maybe.

I often feel badly to request for my daughter a peanut-free and gluten-free meal at the parties she attends because it is such an effort to arrange. It is not just the food itself but the cross contamination which really makes it difficult for caterers to guarantee. Recently I was told by a parent that my daughter should care more about the party and less about the food, so I guess the message is clear – parents are not sympathetic – unless they have a child in this situation. I used to call ahead and ask a lot of questions but now my daughter knows to just eat before and not rely on the food at any of these events. I am not sure this is the right thing to show my child, but I feel totally defeated.

Going on vacation with kids with allergies and Celiac Disease can be fun, but much planning is involved and sometimes things are not in our control.

Recently, my kids and I took a long weekend vacation to Toronto to share in a birthday party and a milestone event. We were excited to travel together and to explore new ground and to be with friends. Finding a restaurant in Toronto that was safe was not as easy as I thought. Perhaps when you live somewhere for a while you can help train and trust the owners of small restaurants that make it easy to frequent, but knowing the ins and outs as a foreigner are not as easy.

We found only 1 restaurant who said that they are 100% gluten-free and nut/peanut free and that was in fact kid friendly as well. (see review on my website) Good that we came prepared – we brought along tortilla mix and crepe mix to make our own at the houses we planned on staying and I had a car full of special treats for the kids and a huge cooler of frozen meals and desserts.

We stayed at a friend’s house so that we could be able to warm up and make our own meals, yet it did not turn out as we hoped. While my friend knows my kids are Celiac and that my daughter has a peanut allergy, she did not take any measures to ensure our safety. She did not tell her guests of this important fact nor did she tell us about the dogs that they came with. As a guest, I do not rely on my hosts to prepare and buy anything for us, infact, I told her that I would provide for my own family so that she would not need to be inconvenienced. So would you think she would atleast have gone out her way to clear the house of peanuts for a day and a half?

So what I have always known and forgot to remember is that people who don’t have allergies or Celiac understand the gravity and lengths we go to ensure safety on a daily basis not are they sympathetic to the cause because of their lack of understanding.

I woke up in the morning to a jar of peanut butter lying on the counter, used just that morning by a family member who had no idea that my daughter had a peanut allergy. Furthermore, instead of apologizing and realizing that she did not even think about it and take any responsibility for her omission, she gave me a lecture on how my daughter should know how to live in the real world and that I should have known that her house is not peanut free. Ok guys, for 2 nights and one day, is this asking a lot of someone? Is it that hard to go out of your way for family and friends to make them feel at home? Why is it that I go out my way to make my guests feel welcome and others do not….

Later that day we went with another friend for a walk along a boardwalk in a trendy area. It was hot and the kids wanted a treat. All of the ice cream places did not cater to a peanut free crowd. I felt badly that we could not partake and while my friend was understanding, we could not all eat ice cream. She looked up an ice cream place for us not too far and she accompanied us there so we could all eat together. While it was super special, it just shows you how even the smallest gestures can be simple and still fun, but that it takes still much effort and understanding.

Going to a foreign country seems impossible with kids with allergies and Celiac, but a trip to Toronto should not be so difficult. Counting on friends to make it easier is not the answer. Next time, we rent our own hotel with kitchenette and pack to rely on ourselves. I have really come to understand, that friends and family, while they love us and want the best for us, will never truly understand the fear and efforts we make each and every day to ensure our kids feel safe and included.